06 5 / 2013
Historic levels of awfulness have always fascinated me, so Luis Cruz’s start to 2013 has been totally amazing other than the fact that he’s causing my team to self destruct. As of this writing he’s had 70 PA and is hitting .091/.116/.091 with no unintentional walks or extra base hits. Cruz’s awful start has inspired me to start finding other historic streaks of ineptitude.
As far as I can tell, this is the worst start to a season in history. No one has ever had numbers like Cruz’s has appear on a scoreboard and been allowed to do a job other than pinch running.
What’s harder to find is stretches like this in the middle of the season where a season’s worth of numbers can mask a horrible cold streak. Streaks like this have happened before, even to Hall of Famers. In July of 1986 Carlton Fisk hit .082/.100/.082 and stayed in the league for seven years after that.
Since these massive cold streaks can be so hidden I want to try to unearth the worst stretch of baseball in history and see if Luis Cruz can beat that.
My current gold standards of horrible:
Doug Clemens for the 1965 Cubs August 5th-October 3rd: 79 PA .056/.139/.056
Mark Belanger for the 1967 Orioles July 30th-September 26th: 91 PA .072/.125/.072
Bob Lillis for the 1963 Colt 45s June 28th-August 10th: 134 PA: .147/.167/.147 (longest stretch I can find with no unintentional walks or extra base hits)
Tommy Thevenow for the 1931 Pirates April 14th-June 27th 150 PA: .101/.155/.101
If you can find anything worse than this please, let me know, and let’s see if Luis can enter baseball immortality.
31 1 / 2013
Only have 45 seconds to get ready for the 2013 MLB season? Then this is the preview for you.
Dodgers – The most expensive team ever has a good shot at a wild card spot
Giants – Some very good players, and some very crappy ones that’ll probably have career years and make me hate everything.
Diamondbacks – Kevin Towers sold his soul for a donut.
Padres – Eric Stults is their ace and Chase Headley probably isn’t the best player in baseball
Rockies – I’ve wrapped up CarGo and Tulo forever, goin’ on break for the next five years
Reds – One of the best teams in the NL adds elite outfielder.
Cardinals – Really unfair when a team that’s already good can add three top prospects to their roster
Brewers – An 83 win team comes back missing two of their three best starters
Pirates – Pitching staff is a wreck, let’s fix it by signing a guy that’s been worse than Luke Hochevar the last two years
Cubs – Well on their way to becoming a good team in 2016
Nats – A really good team (will have the exact same review in three years)
Braves – Bloo bloo bloo my team traded Martin Prado for Justin Upton – Braves fan
Phillies – Will have five sub replacement players in their lineup at least once this year and will still win 80 games thanks to their pitching
Mets – Accomplishments: Re-signed David Wright, tried to convince people 11 is less than 10.
Marlins – Most popular Marlins in 2012: Giancarlo Stanton, Jeff Conine, The Dinger Machine
Angels – “Look how weak the Angels rotation is” he says as they win 7-5
Texas – Sure we lost our best player to our big rival, our ace is Matt Harrison and we missed every player we targeted, but we got AJ Pierzynski!
Athletics – Not having an infield is the new market inefficiency
Mariners – LOL Jack Z
Astros – If you aren’t hyped about this team making a run at 40 wins I don’t know what’s wrong with you.
Tigers – Gave 2000 plate appearances to horribly bad players in 2012, they’re all gone now
White Sox – A good rotation surrounded by a lot of guys that have contended for worst player in baseball recently
Royals – If all of their hitters progress and James Shields pitches like he did in 2011 they just might make a run at .500.
Indians – We don’t got pitchers and we don’t got Choo but we got Swish and he’s the ish.
Twins – Signed Kevin Correia looks like six more weeks of winter
Blue Jays – Let’s sell everything to become a contender but still play Adam Lind at 1st
Yankees – Hahahaha Yankees oh wait they’re still above average almost everywhere
Rays – Is making James Loney your 4th best hitter part of the extra 2%, or is it a 98% kind of thing
Red Sox – This is what rebuilding with a 160 million dollar payroll looks like
Orioles – Orioles magic is sustainable, right?